Turning page
by SharilinAlenko
Summary: The last days were full of intense emotions for Kaidan and Shepard. Now for the Major it's time to think about their relationship, their feelings and their future... But he has to face the consequences of his behavior of the day before… This fic follows the events of "BITTERSWEET" and "BOUND" NSFW
1. Chapter 1

**This fic follows the events of "BITTERSWEET" and "BOUND"**

* * *

**Chapter 1**

Kaidan yawns rolling under the sheets. His sleepy hand is searching for Shepard's body… but her side of the bed is empty and cold. He opens his eyes and notices that there's no sign of her in the cabin.

"She hasn't woken me again! Damn! I've asked it to her a thousand times!", he thinks disappointed while he sits shaking his head. He stretches his arms over his head and he feels still tired. "Well… Probably I needed to rest…".

During the previous night they didn't sleep very much because of his own… eager need of Shepard. He was so scared of losing her during the last battle on Rannoch the day before, that he couldn't help himself to possess her as many times as possible, to feel her alive, shivering under his touch, calling his name out loud while he was plunging inside her with all his searing passion… one, two, three, four times… till they swoon exhausted on the bed.

Now he's a little embarrassed thinking about his behavior… But she is the other half of his soul, she always was, and he needs her as his lungs need air.

His stomach stings at the idea of losing her again… "Damn it… I don't have to think about it, I've promised to her… Let's have a shower!", and he gets up from the bed, heading to the bathroom.

The hot water splashes on his body, and soon he remembers the day before, the amazing sex he had there with Shepard, right after she was back from Rannoch: her fragrant skin so smooth under his fingers, her full lips joined to his, her sweet taste on his tongue, her soft breasts crushed on his chest, her long legs hooked on his hips… Immediately he feels his arousal growing. "Shit! When did I become a… sex addicted?!", he curses in his mind turning on the cold water to calm down his… ebullience.

In the last 24 hours he made love with her… about six times? And still all he wants is to get lost in her, more and more… Kaidan is amazed by his own resilience… and lust! But they spent more than 2 years and a half separated, so now he feels like they have to retrieve the time they've lost. Usually all those months without having sex wouldn't be a problem for him: thanks to his job and his discretion, he was used not to have intercourses for long periods. But since the first time he had… tasted Shepard, he knew he couldn't get along without her anymore: he loves her so desperately that his need of her seems to be endless… When they're joined they become complete: all the pieces of the puzzle of their lives go in the right place… Also, she is so sexy, he can't resist to her!

"Come on, Alenko, let's end this!", he switches off the shower and takes a towel to get dried. He approaches the mirror and, looking at his reflection, he sees a bruise on his neck near his left collarbone: he remembers exactly when Shepard did it last night… Smirking satisfied, he arranges his wet dark hair speckled by some grey, which started to show up approximately nine months ago, after he met her back from the dead on Horizon.

Exiting from the bathroom with the towel wrapped around his hips, Kaidan goes straight to the bed to tidy up the sheets, thinking smiling of how much disappointed he was as he began to observe his silver curls, while now he's very proud, because she loves them: she likes so much to fumble with them, saying to him how they make him more mature and sexy.

He finally gets dressed and sits at the desk near the display cases, full of her models of ship.

«EDI, where is Shepard?», he asks to the Normandy's AI.

«She is in the Shuttle Bay, talking to Lieutenant Cortez, Major.»

«Thanks EDI.»

"Well, she's ok. Maybe I should use this time to do some reports", and he reaches one datapad on the desk. Suddenly the frame near it switches on, showing a picture of him and Shepard: he has changed his own portrait with that photo they took at the Apollo, during their dinner date, almost two weeks ago.

Thinking about those last days, Kaidan feels so lucky because he's had a second chance to stay with the love of his life, to fight with her, to protect her, to support her, and then to share all their spare time together in the loft, speaking, laughing, embracing, making love… He's never been so happy in his whole life, even if they're in a war, a terrible war that could destroy all the civilizations of the galaxy. But there, in their cabin with Shepard, he feels like in paradise.

Abruptly a terrible anguish catches him, remembering all the months he has wasted far from her, since he knew she was still alive thanks to Cerberus, because of his stubbornness and his doubts. Now they've a short time left to stay together before the final rush against the enemy, and this idea drives him crazy with despair. "I am so afraid… I need her…"

He tries to be positive thinking about their future: he wants to marry her, to buy her a house, to have a lot of babies with her red hair and her gorgeous sky-blue eyes, maybe some puppies, and to grow old with her… But they're going to face the Reapers once for all… and he knows this war will be very hard.

"I need her to know what I feel for her…"

In the quiet of their bed, before they fall asleep, he always asks Shepard to sing to him one of the songs like she was used to do alone when they were apart, and every night she sits and amazes him with her sweet sexy voice singing different lyrics full of love, despair, and sometimes hope, while he rest his head on her legs, looking at her as she caresses lovingly his hair…

Since the first time he had listened to one of her love songs, Kaidan remained speechless because of the strong feelings it showed to him, helping him to understand how much she still loved him, no matter what happened between the two of them. Now, despite of the fact she knows he loves her exactly the same, he feels like his words and his actions towards her aren't enough.

He needs her to know he loves how her soft lips turn in a shining smile when she sees him, how her wonderful blue eyes stare at him full of tenderness, how she laughs heartily at his jokes, how she pinches the bridge of her nose when she has to decide what to do, how she brushes her tongue over her upper lip when she's thinking about something, how she toys with her ringlet that slips out from her bun, even how she looks upset in front of a kind of food she doesn't like and throws it in his plate. He loves EVERYTHING about her.

"What should I do? Maybe this time I could be the one singing for her…"

Often people tell him he has a beautiful, warm voice, and sometimes he has sung their wedding song for his parents' anniversary… Suddenly, thinking about them makes him remember the weeks he stayed in their house after Shepard's death, trying to recompose his broken heart… He spent all the time in his room, doing nothing except drinking beers and listening to the radio. One day, during the 'Old times nostalgia' program they put on a song that made him cry all night long because it seemed written by himself…

"Yes! I need to find that song!", so he starts his research on the extranet, giving up the report he was working on.

After half an hour, he finally manages to find it, and he starts to study the lyrics listening to the music. After finishing he feels very proud of himself. "It's perfect… That day I could never be able to imagine that one day I would think to sing it for her, alive in my arms…"

«Hey Kaidan, there's a problem!», Joker's voice cuts off his thoughts.

«What's happening?»

«I think it's better if you run to the Engineer's Deck… You must stop the Commander!»

* * *

«WHAT! THE! HELL! ALLERS!», Kaidan has barely arrived at the deck that Shepard's voice rumbles all over the hallway. He rushes toward the journalist's cabin, finding her approaching Diana threateningly.

«What's the problem, Commander?», the woman asks sneering and gloating.

«WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?! ARE YOU FUCKIN' KIDDIN' ME, ALLERS? I've hosted you in my ship! You've eaten my food! You've enjoyed my crew's company! And you compensate me with THIS?!», Shepard is shaking her fists violently, her face flushed because of the rage.

«Shepard! Calm down!», Kaidan slides his hand around her waist, pulling her near him and far from the journalist.

«No! Let go of me, Kaidan! I must punch her!», she wiggles in his arms trying to free herself from his firm grip.

«But why?!», ha can't understand.

«Because she's a damned traitor!», she stops her actions just to tap on her omni-tool, showing him a video of their searing kiss in the Shuttle Bay, recorded the day before, right after she was back from Rannoch. He stares at it speechless.

«I've only done my job. I am here to gather all the information about the war to tell the human audience!», Diana justifies herself.

«EXACTLY! ABOUT THE WAR! NOT ABOUT OUR PRIVATE AFFAIRS!», Shepard is again pushing towards her, but Kaidan's still holding her.

«Well, you kissed each other in front of the entire crew, I think it's not a private affair any longer… And now all humanity knows about your relationship. You've to be glad, it will be a good commercial for the Alliance: 'there's still love even above the war!'», she sniggers.

«FUCK OFF, ALLERS! YOU KNOW VERY WELL THAT THE ALLIANCE **DOESN'T ALLOW** ROMANCE BETWEEN ITS OFFICIALS!»

«Oh, really? Well, observing your behavior I thought the two of you were above regs…», Allers is teasing badly Shepard, whose fists are glowing by her biotics…

«Stop, Shepard! Come on, ignore her… If you punch her, the situation will get even worse!», Kaidan gives the journalist a glimpse full of hate and then manages to take his lover out of the cabin.

When they reach the elevator he releases her from his arms: she slams her hands wildly against the wall cursing desperately. «Damn damn damn!»

«Sharilin…», he's feeling very guilty.

«Fucking journalist! I should have kicked her out of my ship weeks ago! Shit!», she leans her forehead over the cold metal sighing. «I know… We were prepared that our story would fall in public domain sooner or later… But not now… And not like that! Jesus…»

«God, I'm so sorry, Sharilin… It's all my fault… I was so unprofessional… I shouldn't have kissed you yesterday in front of all those people, without thinking about the consequences of my actions…»

She turns slowly her head without moving away from the wall, her sky-blue eyes staring him thoughtfully… Abruptly she gets near him, her hands clinging on the collar of his BDU's, pushing his back against the door of the elevator and pulling his head near hers, then she kisses him ardently. He responds immediately giving a low compliant groan, moving his hands on her small back and drawing her to crash on him. Soon their tongues meet, dueling fiercely in their mouths, while Shepard's hands leave the cloth of his suit to dig in his black hair, holding tight to him and moaning desperate, like she couldn't have enough of him.

The elevator arrives at the deck opening the door, and they lose the balance for a while, but Kaidan manages not to fall, entering it: he grabs her ass and lifts her thighs to wrap his waist, leaning her back on the wall, without stopping to kiss her starving. His mind is overwhelmed by his lust, his hard length brushes against her hot centre through the pants, while his left hand slips under her shirt, finding the way for her breast beneath her bra and reaching a nipple, making her gasp frenzied against his mouth…

But suddenly EDI's voice invades the elevator. «Commander, Major… Admiral Hackett and Admiral Anderson want to talk to both of you in the Comm Room.»

They gulp, caught by surprise breaking the kiss. «Err… Thanks… EDI», Shepard answers panting, her breath erratic while her feet are landing again on the floor.

«Oh no! Anderson no… God…», she's still embracing him, her face buried in his chest and her tone full of anguish. «I wanted to be the one to tell him about us… Goddamn it!»

«I know, baby… But… I am sure he will understand…», Kaidan caresses her lavender scented hair, feeling very frustrated because of the awful interjection, and trying to calm down his brimful desire of her.

«I hope so…», she sighs.

He moves away from her to look into her eyes «Sharilin, don't forget that you're not alone… We'll face everything together!»

She gives him a shy smile. «Yes, you're right, Kaidan…»


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Kaidan and Shepard enter the Comm Room holding each other's hand. «Are you ready?», his husky voice is warm and calm.

«Yeah… Let's do this», she switches on the panel freeing his hand from the grip. Anderson and Hackett's holograms appear in front of them.

«Commander, Major, hi…», Anderson greets them.

«Hi, Admiral!», they both give the salute gesture.

«I think you know the reason why we are contacting you», Hackett is as serious as always.

«Yes, Sir…», Shepard's answers is uncertain.

«This morning, extranet and the televisions all over the galaxy have been invaded by a video showing you sharing a kiss that was absolutely inappropriate for two ranked Alliance officers», the older man continues.

She swallows guiltily looking at Anderson who's silent. «Yes… I…».

«I beg your pardon, Sir, but it was all my fault», Kaidan interrupts her. «Yesterday was a day full of strong emotions, and I wasn't able to hold my relief to see her alive back from the mission».

«Well, I am guilty too! I didn't do anything to stop him!», she tries to defend him.

«Obviously you are both guilty: you were aware about our rules against fraternization!», Hackett seems very angry.

«Of course we were, Sir, but…», Shepard is stammering.

«There isn't any 'BUT' Commander!»

«Wait, Steven, let them explain what's happened!», Anderson cuts him off, his tone is quiet and reassuring.

She a deep breath. «Thanks, Anderson. You're right, Hackett, we've broken the regs… but… we…»

Her mind is totally in a mess: how can she explain the amazingly strong feeling that binds them? Words are not enough… She needs them to understand how they're essential for each others' life, how they are whole only together, how he makes her feel safer and stronger, how she encourages him to face his fears and his doubts…

Kaidan steps forward her. «Admirals, we're conscious that our relationship is forbidden in the Alliance, and we wouldn't ever act like this if it wasn't so important.»

«Important…? Are you saying that you two are really in love?», Anderson's worried eyes are staring at Shepard.

«Yes, we are. We tried so hard to resist, but we couldn't avoid it. And I swear we are completely sure and true about our feelings», the Majors takes her hand in his.

«Love?! We're in a war! There's no time to think about things like that!», Hackett chases them.

«Well, Steven, no one can decide when to fall in love with someone else. It could happen every time and everywhere, even in a battlefield!», Anderson tries to calm down his colleague.

«But they're military officers! They've an assignment to accomplish which is vital for the survival of the entire galaxy! They can't be distracted by anything! What if they fail because of their feelings?».

«Never! We are very professional soldiers, our mission always comes first!».

«Are you really sure, Alenko? Probably I shouldn't have allowed you to join again Shepard's crew. But we can fix it…».

At his words, the Commander's heart jolts for a moment. "No no no no no no… Does he want to reallocate Kaidan to another ship? No no no no no no! I can't stay without him anymore… No no no no no no…"

«Admirals, I've to object your last affirmation», EDI's voice surprises them.

«What…? Who are…?».

«I am EDI, the AI of the ship. I've analyzed the recordings of all the missions we've been through since we left Earth I have in my database: there was a significant improve of the combat skills of the ground squad since the Major was back on duty in this ship, and his diplomacy was very useful last week, when we had to deal with the Quarians. It would be a mistake to dismiss him now».

Hackett's shocked by the impudence of the AI. «A mistake?».

«Admiral, my place is here on the Normandy, at the Commander's side!», Kaidan says standing tall.

Shepard is amazed by the way he's facing the situation: he is so sure and fierce, no hint of anxiety in his voice… "He is really my reference point… How could I survive all that time without him?".

She inhales deeply, regaining control of her mind and her body, following her lover's example. «Yes, we need him here on the Normandy. He is my second in command, I need him», she squeezes lightly his hand.

Anderson is still glancing at her. «I can confirm that Alenko and Shepard were always a great couple of fighters: their biotics worked so well together during their mission against Saren, and I am sure that now they're even more powerful.»

«Of course they are, and I can show you some videos as a proof», EDI starts a new hologram in front of all of them: it shows them with Vega on Rannoch rescuing the Quarian Admiral Koris. They're fighting against the Geth, the Commander charging on them with all her fury while the Major's casting his Reave ability and the Lieutenant's shooting around. The two biotics' movements are totally coordinated: each Shepard's Nova explosion is followed by Alenko's Barrier that protects her, and in a few minutes they've downed dozen of enemies.

«Fabulous!», Anderson seems very proud, while Hackett's expression is still earnest.

«Yes, you're very impressive, but…», he turns to look at Shepard. «If one day it would be necessary to sacrifice yourselves for the mission, are you prepared to do this?»

"There we are…", she sighs uncomforted.

«I think I've showed more then once I could DIE, if it would be necessary to save the galaxy! Indeed I've already died…», she returns the glaze. «But I will always do my best to prevent the death of anyone. It's true I love Kaidan, and I don't want to lose him, as I don't want to lose anybody else! And I am sure that for him is the same.»

«Exactly!», the Major confirms.

After a moment of silence, Hackett sighs slowly and then unexpectedly he smiles at them. «All right, I think that's enough for now, isn't it, David?»

«Of course it is, as I told you before, Steven!»

Shepard opens wide her eyes astonished again. «Enough? What does that mean?»

«We wanted to… test you», Anderson explains. «The Alliance Committee became acquainted with Allers' video and it reported the situation to Hackett, asking him to resolve the problem of you breaking the fraternization rules. So he contacted me, we discussed about the need to reassign you to different ships and we decided to talk to you before taking a decision.»

«We all know that there are a lot of officials who don't like your demeanor, Shepard», Hackett continues. «But Alenko always distinguished himself for his exceptional behavior and loyalty to the Alliance, he is one of our most promising soldiers. So the Committee didn't appreciate to know about your relationship: it claims that you, Commander, could be a bad influence on him.»

The two lovers' jaws hang on opened. «What… No! Kaidan is always the same…».

«We know it, Shepard, we know», the Admiral interrupts her. «Now you confirmed to us that both of you are still focused on your mission, despite of what is happening between you. So don't worry and continue doing your job. I apologize for being rude with you, but I wanted to prepare you. I will take care of the Committee for now, but when the war is over, you'll have to be judged for your violation, so you have to be ready.»

«Thanks, Admiral. We didn't want to cause you troubles…»

«Well… That video is obtaining a lot of success: it seems that the people all around the galaxy enjoy the idea of two heroes like you in love with each other», Anderson chuckles fondly. «Yeah… You're becoming a symbol of hope: there's still life despite of the war. I don't think the Committee will hamper you for now, if you will carry on your assignment as well as you've done till this moment.»

«A symbol? Wow…», Kaidan turns to smile to Shepard who's blushing shyly.

"So the fucking Allers was right…", she thinks.

«But I have a question… Doesn't our Spectre status overcome our military ranks? EDI's researches didn't found anything against fraternization in the Council statute», he's still holding her hand.

«That's a good question, Alenko. I don't know, you are the two first Human Spectres, we are not updated about those things. We'll find out when there will be the need. Now I have to go. Be careful. Hackett out.»

The Admiral's hologram disappears, while Anderson is still staring grave to them.

«Shepard… Please be honest with me… Is this affair between the two of you lasting since your mission on the Normandy SR-1?»

The question sends chills down her spine… She feels so guilty not to have told him anything about them…

«Yes… I am so sorry Anderson… I didn't want to keep it hidden from you but… There wasn't enough time… I liked Kaidan since the first time I met him… But we got together only during our final rush against Saren, and when we started to understand exactly what was happening between us… I… I died…».

«My child, you don't have to apologize. Instead, I have to: I saw Alenko's anguish when you died, but I couldn't understand exactly the reasons of his pain. And when you were back from the dead I didn't tell you anything about him because your involvement with Cerberus, even if I noticed your concern. I blame myself, I was so blind…».

«No, Anderson, you did nothing wrong. You were just doing your job!».

«Shepard, you know you're like a daughter for me. I've always seen the sadness and the loneliness in your eyes since the beginning. I've prayed a lot that one day you would find someone capable to ease your pain and to make you happy. Right after the battle of the Citadel, for the first time I caught bliss in your sight. I thought it was for the victory, but now I suppose that it was because of Alenko, wasn't it?».

She looks into Kaidan's charming eyes which are staring at her intensely. «Yes, it was… I was totally in love with him…»

«Me too…», he releases her hand to surround her shoulders with his arm. «And I've continued to love her even when she was dead… I couldn't get her out of my mind…».

«That's why you were so shattered after you were back from Horizon. I could only imagine how much you suffered…», the Admiral's expression is gloomy.

«Yes… Being apart all those months was terrible… But now we managed to get together again, and I am determinate not to waste this second precious chance the fate gave us!»

«Good to know, Alenko. Please, promise me you'll always take care of her».

«I swear. I'll be always at her side, I'll support her, I'll protect her and I'll give her all my love, no matter what happens. I belong to her.»

Shepard stomach clenches with the emotion. «Kaidan… I belong to you too…», she swallows to force her tears back.

Anderson gives them a fatherly warm smile. «I am very glad for both of you. You've to know that I'll always do whatever I can to support you against the Alliance Committee. I want you to be happy as you deserve».

«That means a lot for us… Thank you so much…», she smiles at him moved.

«Stay safe, child. Anderson out.», and his hologram disappears too.

They stay there for a while without saying anything. Then Kaidan turns to face Shepard, hugging her. She raises her head and reaches his lips for a sweet kiss. «I love you, Major Alenko», she whispers against his mouth.

«I love you too, Commander Shepard», he brushes her cheek with his thumb. «Did you see? In the end it wasn't a tragedy…».

«Yeah… But… For a moment I was caught by fear thinking that Hackett would reallocate you in another ship… I can't stay without you anymore, Kaidan…»

He sighs. «Nor can I, my love…», he leans his forehead on hers. «But luckily anything bad's happened… And now I feel like I've just met your parents!».

Shepard chuckles. «Well, Anderson is quite a father to me…».

«I know, baby…», he kisses her again. Their lips soon set a eager rhythm moving on each other, his tongue plunging slowly in her mouth, savoring her mild taste, both moaning delightfully.

«What do you think about resuming the… issue we started in the elevator?», he murmurs consumed by his desire of her.

«I think it's a great idea… But I am afraid the Comm Room isn't the right place…».

«Are you sure? It could be… interesting…», an evil grin appears on his face.

She pulls herself away from him. «Major, we've already made a worldwide exhibition of ourselves… We've to be a little more subtle now…»

Kaidan puffs amused. «Ok, I give up for this time… So hurry up! Let's go to our cabin!», he takes again her hand, leading her toward the door, but suddenly she stops.

«EDI!»

«Yes, Commander?»

«Thank you so much, my friend.»

«It was a pleasure, Shepard.»


	3. Chapter 3 NSFW

**Chapter 3 (NSFW)**

«God, I am so tired!», Shepard sighs stepping into the elevator. It's very late and she is exhausted because of all the things happened these last days, especially her chat with Anderson and Hackett. Now, the only thing that she wants is to get lost within Kaidan's embrace…

Right after their meeting with the Admirals, she was intercepted by Liara while they were heading to their apartments to share some private moments together, and she hasn't seen him since that time.

They've been interjected twice today, and now her need of him is unbearable: the last night he was so hungry of her, so passionate, so frenzied… he drives her crazy, and she always wants more and more of him…

The doors of the elevator open at the Capitan's Deck. "Hope he is already in there…"

«Kaidan…?», Shepard asks entering the cabin. The lights in there are even more subtle than usual, the blue glow of the fish tanks colors the room… and the soft sound of a piano is floating in the air.

She walks ahead. "What…?", and there's Kaidan, standing in front of the stairs smiling at her. He holds out his left hand to her. «Come here, my love…».

She follows his request, taking his hand with hers. He pulls her near his body, his free arm surrounds her waist, his forehead brushes hers forcing their eyes to meet. «Welcome back, baby…».

«Thanks… But… Wh…».

«Shhh… Follow me…», Kaidan begins to dance slowly following the melody, his firm grip on her small back drives her to accompany his fluent movements. Their face are so close, their breaths mingle with each other, their sights locked, his right thumb brushes gently her back causing flowing shivers down her spine. Shepard feels her muscles relax, all the efforts washed away by his sweetness…

When the music seems to restart, he brings their entwined hands on his chest, near his heart, and he begins shyly to sing following the rhythm:

- I've waited a hundred years.

But I'd wait a million more for you.

Nothing prepared me for

What the privilege of being yours would do

If I had only felt the warmth within your touch

If I had only seen how you smile when you blush

Or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough

I would have known what I was living for all along

What I've been living for -

Shepard is totally wordless… She didn't know Kaidan could sing so well! His husky warm voice is like a caress to her ears, while the lyrics hit her right into the heart…

- Your love is my turning page

Where only the sweetest words remain

Every kiss is a cursive line

Every touch is a redefining phrase

I surrender who I've been for who you are

For nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart

If I had only felt how it feels to be yours

Well, I would have known what I've been living for all along

What I've been living for -

She can't hold the tears that are running down her face, still staring into his adoring caramel colored eyes and feeling his fast heartbeats under her hand.

- Though we're tethered to the story we must tell

When I saw you, well, I knew we'd tell it well

With a whisper, we will tame the vicious seas

Like a feather bringing kingdoms to their knees -

He finishes the song, and soon his lips are on her cheeks, drying her tears lovingly.

«Oh, Kaidan…», she sobs. «That… was… incredible…».

«Thanks… But I didn't want to make you cry…», he says brushing their noses.

«No! It's just… I'm moved! These are… tears of happiness!», she smiles at him. «It was… so perfect…», she raises on her tiptoes to give him a sweet kiss.

«I love you so much…», he murmurs against her lips. «I wanted you to know that…».

«I know it, Kaidan…».

«Yes, but I need to say it to you a thousand times… A million times… For all those years I couldn't… Even before your death, our relationship was just at the beginning, so I felt like I didn't exactly explained to you how much you meant to me… since the first time I saw you…».

«Oh darling, you never have been very… loquacious!», she chuckles. «But I always could see in your eyes and in your actions how much you cared about me…»

«Yeah… we didn't need to talk so much to each other on the old Normandy… We understood each other with just one look…», he caresses her jaw with his thumb. «But when you were back from the dead I wasn't able to recognize you… Or probably I didn't want to… Now, I can notice every single thing in you that made me fell in love for my Commander almost three years ago, like the little dimple on your right cheek when you smile, or your wrinkled nose when there's something that bothers you… and I can't understand how I couldn't see them on Hor…».

«Shhh…», her forefinger is on his lips preventing him to talk. «Please stop thinking about that… Horizon, and Mars… They're the past. They're all forgiven and forgotten. Just think about the present, about US…».

She gives him another brief kiss. «Listen, Kaidan… There's a war on, and we don't know how it will end… The only thing we know is that we are in love, and we have to take advantage of all the time we have to stay together. I am aware it's hard not to think about our worries, but they're not helpful…».

«You're right… Just… I am feeling a little guilty about my behavior of the last days…», he sighs compliant.

Shepard rises an eyebrow looking at him questioning. «What do you mean?».

Kaidan starts to blush. «Well, the kiss in the Shuttle Bay…».

«Come on… I was only worried about Anderson, but he understood, so it's ok… Screw Allers!».

«And… I didn't let you sleep very much…».

«What?! Are you really apologizing because you wanted to make love with me all the night long?», she bursts into laughter. «Jeez, Kaidan! It was… AMAZING! It's ALWAYS amazing with you… I am… GRATEFUL for your desire of me! So stop immediately to blame yourself… It's mutual, my love… I like you so much… I WANT you so much…», she takes his face with her hands, glimpsing him with her eyes darkened by lust.

«Speaking of which, Major… Let me show you how much I've appreciate your serenade…».

Her lips meet his again, moving slowly at first, but soon becoming more demanding. Her hands slip from his jaw to the back of his head, pulling him close: her tongue starts to probe into his mouth, savoring his salty taste and finding the tip of his.

Kaidan gives a low satisfied groan, his hands wandering on her back, while she begins to undo the buttons of his BDU's driving him near the bed. When they reach it, his shirt is on the floor, and Shepard breaks the kiss just to push him on the sheets.

She sits astride on his hips, caressing his bare chest. A wave of emotions invades her: she remembers the night they bunked together before Ilos, the strong feelings this awesome man woke up in her since the first time their fingers touched slightly… It was like a myriad of electrical sparks prickling her skin, making her heart beat faster than ever. She could never forget how everything seemed in the right place when she was finally in his arms, after all the weeks she had longed for him: she wasn't alone anymore, she had him, she belonged to Kaidan.

Now, after all those years, nothing has changed, and he proves her everyday that he feels exactly the same way. He had even sung his sentiments for her…

«I love you so much…», Shepard says leaning down to join their mouths again. His heady scent stokes her further, and she starts to brush her lips on his cheek, his jaw, his earlobe, his neck, his collarbone… Whimpers of appreciation come from him, but suddenly he grabs her shoulders to force her to look at him. «Take off your clothes… I want to sense your skin against mine…», his sexy voice is hoarse by his urge.

She sneers naughtily to him. «I think I can satisfy you request, Major…».

She sits again on him, freeing herself from her shirt and her bra. Immediately Kaidan's hands are on her breasts, squeezing them softly and making her gulp delightfully, but soon she is again bended down on him, nipping the skin of his pecs while her nipples tickle his skin.

He tries to reach the buttons of her pants without success, because she stops him. «No way, my love, this time I am going to be the one who controls the situation!».

He mumbles a little disappointed, but she shuts up him with another searing kiss. Her fingers draw the lines of his sculptured abs, down until they find his belt. He swallows hard when his stiff length is freed from his boxers, and Shepard slowly trails a path of kisses all over his chest, since she arrives at his belly.

She feels him thrill under her touch, and throaty groans come from him when her hand wraps around his arousal. She starts to pump him softly, her thumb touching slightly his silky head and she glimpses his face: his eyes are almost crossed and his lips parted while she passes the tip of her tongue all over his length.

«Oh God!», he yells as she takes him into her mouth. She moves slowly at the beginning, but soon she starts to lick and suck hard. He pants frantically and he can't help himself to sink one hand in her mahogany hair, following her movements with his hips.

«Baby… Stop… I can't… Please… I need to be inside of you right now!», he says to her pulling gently her hair. She gives a last lick and then she sneers at him. «Aye aye, Major…».

In quick motions she takes off the rest of her clothes, and she comes back to straddle on his sides, her hand guiding him to enter in her. Kaidan is clearly eager of her, but this time she wants this moment to last, savoring the sensation of having him warm sliding within her. When he is finally buried up to the hilt, she caresses his chest since she arrives to his pecs, still staring in his whiskey colored eyes burning of desire and lust.

She begins her heated pace, moving up and down on him, both of them moaning and panting frenzied. He reaches her hips with his hands, grabbing them and obliging her to fastener her motions. The pleasure is almost unbearable, and all of sudden Shepard cries out her orgasm: Kaidan takes advantage of the moment to surround her waist with his arm and turning down her on the bed, reversing their position.

He seizes the globes of her ass and pushes in her quickly and strongly, she can barely inhale. When she focuses her attention on his face again, she sees his mouth opened slightly, his eyes closed, his bows tensed and drops of sweat slipping down his forehead: he is so wonderful that her heart almost stops with emotion.

«Kaidan…»

Listening to her whisper, he releases unconsciously his biotics: all his body is surrounded by a blue glow, even his eyes that are now open wide staring in hers. Shepard gulps astonished, hypnotized by her gorgeous lover: she will never get used to see him like this…

«You're so damn handsome, Kaidan…», she manages to say before he prevents her to speak, kissing her wildly and speeding up the rhythm of his thrusts. Another wave of pleasure floods her, her heartbeats are as out of control as her breath.

Overwhelmed by the burning delight, she grips his muscular shoulders, and digs her nails into them when Kaidan bits hard her neck. Finally he plunges one last time within her so deeply that they both scream for the climax they reach together.

He falls exhausted on her, his biotics fades away, and they stay still, listening to each others' panting. Shepard caresses the skin of his back with smooth circular movements, and he gives her open mouthed kisses over her neck and her jaw, until he reaches her lips.

«Oh my… It was… God…», she says when she regains enough breath in her lugs.

«Mh mh…», he murmurs still brushing his lips on her cheek.

«I just… I want to stay like this with you forever…», she sighs hugging him.

Kaidan stops his actions to take her face with his hands, driving her to meet his searing gaze. «Baby… We'll always stay together.»

Shepard smiles fondly at him. «No matter what happens…».

«Exactly baby… But now… You don't think I am done with you tonight, do you?», and then he brings her to fall apart again in bliss with him.

* * *

**Kaidan's song is "Turning page" by Sleeping At Last.**  
**I know the singing voice isn't husky and warm like Sbarge's, but the first time I've listened to the lyrics I couldn't not think about Shenko…**


End file.
